The nursery director called. Mr is expected next week to start settling in. First, all three children need to stop being snotty.
The call we have been waiting for
Starting nursery with Down syndrome is a milestone I have been thinking about for months, and now it is actually happening. The director called to say Mr is welcome to begin settling in next week. One day at a time, gradually, the way it should be done. I am glad they are taking that approach. I am also a little terrified, which I think is a reasonable response.
Mr is two years and nine months old. He is daytime nappy-free, which the nursery confirmed is a significant plus. He dresses himself about halfway – enough to be a real asset. The area they flagged is independent eating. He managed a few spoonfuls of soup today, but mostly still needs help. The nursery does not have the capacity to feed individual children, which I understand, but it does mean we need to keep working on it at home. A couple of spoonfuls independently is progress. It is not yet where we need it to be.
There is also a form – a needs and routines form – to fill in, which I will do once I can find a quiet moment, which is its own challenge.
First things first: all three need to get well
Every single one of my children currently has a runny nose. Ms has been home for a week already – the nursery flagged it themselves, because her days there are long and physically demanding and she was not managing well with a cold weighing on her. They tolerate the nasal aspirator, the saline spray and the wiping without too much protest, which is genuinely helpful. B has been snotty too and at five months a blocked nose is particularly uncomfortable because he cannot breathe through his mouth while nursing without breaking off. The steam, the saline drops, the constant cleaning – it is repetitive and necessary and I will be very glad when it is over.
The settling-in has to wait until everyone is healthy. That is the right call. It would not serve Mr well to start somewhere new while he is already under the weather, and it would not be fair on the other children at the nursery either.
The plan for the first day
When we do go, the first day will look like this: all five of us travel together in the morning. Ms goes to her group. The childminder is given a space in the building to be with B. I go into Mr’s group with him and stay through the morning. At intervals I will slip out to nurse B and then go back. The childminder brings me and the boys home at lunchtime. My partner is at work and will collect Ms in the afternoon.
It is a logistically complicated morning. It is also the right way to do it – Mr needs a familiar face in the room while he finds his feet in a new environment, and I need to be that face. However it unfolds, that first day matters and I want to be fully present for it.
The support worker problem
The thing I cannot resolve right now is the support worker situation. Our childminder is the obvious person for this role – she knows Mr, he knows her, the relationship is already there. But using public funding for a support worker requires a public procurement process, and that process has not been started yet. No one can tell me exactly when it will be, or how long it will take once it begins. In the meantime we are in a gap: Mr cannot be at nursery alone without support, I cannot be there every day indefinitely with a five-month-old and a four-year-old who also has needs, and the childminder cannot formally step into the role until the paperwork catches up with reality.
This is the kind of bureaucratic delay that is very easy to describe as an administrative process and very hard to live inside. We will manage it somehow. We always do. But it adds a layer of uncertainty to a week that already has enough of it.
The neighbours came back
Today, after a long absence, the neighbours returned – including their ten-year-old daughter, who is one of our favourite people. We were all outside together for a while. She admired how much B has grown. She cuddled Mr. Ms was visibly happy to see her. These small reunions with people who genuinely like our children and are easy to be around matter more than they might sound, particularly in a week that is otherwise full of logistics and uncertainty and three runny noses.
Next week, if everyone is well, starting nursery with Down syndrome begins. One morning, one room, one step at a time. We are as ready as we are going to be.
You are not alone.
If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.
If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.
You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.
Leave a Reply