Two days in a row. Different cities. Long car journeys, therapy sessions, a hospital visit – and dry trousers throughout. This is what potty training success with Down syndrome looks like.
The moment on the road that made everything worth it
Yesterday we drove to a different city for Mr’s gymnastics session. Just me, Mr and B – two boys, both heavy, the bag on my shoulder, the potty in the minibus. Halfway there Mr started shifting in his seat. I know that movement now. I put him on the potty right there between the seats. He went. I asked the driver to pull over, he poured it into the bushes, and we drove on.
I genuinely could not stop smiling.
Today we did the same thing in our own car. And after gymnastics yesterday, in a training hall full of equipment and distractions, I guided Mr to the potty and he used it without argument. Today in a large hospital he used it again. And once – just once, but once is enough to matter – he used an actual toilet with a child seat, and did it properly.
This is what potty training success with Down syndrome looks like. Not a straight line. Not without vigilance and watching for the signs. But two years and nine months old, two consecutive days of travel to different cities, and dry trousers the entire time. I am allowed to be proud of him. I am also allowed to be proud of myself for not giving up the second time around, when giving up would have been so much easier.
Many typically developing children are not yet daytime dry at this age. I am noting that not to compare, but because parents of children with Down syndrome are so often given the message that everything will take much longer, that expectations should be low, that milestones will come late if at all. Mr is showing us something different. Let me say it clearly: a two-year-and-nine-month-old child with Down syndrome is daytime nappy-free. That is real and it is worth celebrating loudly.
Yesterday: alone with two boys
While Mr was in his gymnastics session I had a quieter stretch – nursing B, letting him explore the play corner, just the two of us in a room while his brother worked hard on the other side of the wall. Those gaps are worth more than they look. When the session ended we came straight home. Mr slept half an hour in the car. B slept in the car and then not again until evening. A typical day.
Getting around with both of them is physically demanding in a way I underestimated before they both got heavier. B and the bag on one side, Mr on his balance bike because if I let him walk he goes in whatever direction interests him and I do not always have time to negotiate. It works. It is not effortless.
Today: the neurologist and a detour to the cemetery
Today was a longer journey – a larger city, a neurology appointment for Mr. I asked about a sleep study because he snores, grinds his teeth, breathes through his mouth at night and sleeps restlessly. All of these things are worth investigating, particularly for a child with Down syndrome where sleep issues can have real developmental consequences. They asked a lot of questions about his development and took blood for analysis. We will see what comes back.
My partner was able to come today, which made the journey possible in the way it needed to be – the two of us, both boys, a long drive each way with nursing and potty stops built in. Ms stayed with the grandparents. On the way I stopped at my father’s grave and left a candle. It was a brief stop and it mattered.
The hospital visit ended with the doctors confirming what we already felt: he is doing well and he is ready to start settling into nursery. His self-care skills – dressing, eating independently – still need work, but they noted that a child who has mastered potty training will find the other skills follow. I believe that.
A new thing I said yes to
I have agreed to give online music lessons to one student – a boy who is genuinely musical and curious about it. Forty-five minutes a week. I decided a long time ago that I was not going to pursue a career or take on work, and I stand by that – the children are the priority and that is not changing. But forty-five minutes a week feels realistic, and the small extra income is genuinely useful right now. The preparation takes time I do not always have. When B cries I pick him up and the lesson pauses. When the older two are loud in the next room it is harder to concentrate. My partner manages the bigger children during that time, but managing and silent are not the same thing in a small house. We are figuring it out.
What is coming
Ms is home this week with a runny nose – nursery is too physically demanding when she has a cold and she needs to actually recover rather than push through it with a heavy head. Mr needs a haircut by the end of the week. Next week I want to start taking him to nursery to settle in gradually, though the support worker situation is unresolved – the formal process for her appointment is still waiting on administration – and I do not know yet exactly how that will look.
What I know is this: two days ago, in a minibus on a country road, Mr used a potty between the seats and I asked the driver to stop so we could empty it into the bushes. And it was one of the best moments I have had in a long time. Potty training success with Down syndrome does not always look like the books describe. Sometimes it looks like pulling over on a country road and feeling like you have won something enormous. We have.
You are not alone.
If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.
If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.
You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.
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