Eleven days in and something clicked. Here is how we finally got our potty training win with a two-year-old with Down syndrome – and everything else that happened alongside it.
How the first attempt went
A few months ago we tried potty training Mr for the first time. He is two years old and has Down syndrome. It lasted a couple of weeks and left every surface in the house – floor, sofa, bed – covered, Mr terrified of the potty and refusing to go near it, and the entire household functioning at maximum stress levels. We stopped. Nappies back on. We gave everyone, including ourselves, a month to recover.
Then I found a book recommended on Instagram – Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan Azrin. I read it and decided to try the technique. I would recommend it. Not because it works exactly as described, because nothing ever does, but because the underlying approach is different enough from what we had been doing that it gave us a new way in.
Eleven days and a potty training win
We started the new approach with the childminder helping, because B needed nursing at the same time and I needed an extra pair of hands. Eleven days in and the progress is genuinely remarkable – a real potty training win for a two-year-old with Down syndrome, and I want to say that clearly because I think parents in the same position need to hear that it is possible.
Mr now pulls his own trousers down, goes to the potty, uses it, and we carry the contents to the toilet together. He understands when his trousers are wet. He recognises the difference between dry and wet. There were multiple moments in those eleven days when we nearly gave up again – two steps forward, three steps back, the whole thing feeling impossible. And then something clicked. He understood what the potty was for. That shift, when it came, was unmistakable.
He still wears a nappy at night – that will be a while yet, his nappy is always very full by morning. During his daytime nap I put a disposable sheet underneath him which is usually wet when he wakes, but he notices it and tells me. Accidents still happen during the day, and I have to watch for the signs – a particular restlessness or movement that means he needs to go – because he does not always go independently yet. He sometimes decides the sofa would be a more interesting destination than the potty, which requires vigilance. But the progress is enormous and I am proud of him in a way that is difficult to overstate.
I spoke today with someone I know whose daughter is twenty-eight and has Down syndrome. I told her life was very intense right now. She understood completely. I do not know yet who I am prouder of – Mr for getting there, or myself for not giving up the second time.
B’s first illness
B is five months old and a few days ago he got his first fever. I do not yet know what it is – just a temperature, no other clear cause. I have not given him medication yet because I believe in letting a fever do its work when it is not dangerously high. A fever is the body’s response to infection, not the enemy – it helps burn through illness. But there is a limit to how long I will wait. If tonight is another difficult night, if he is clearly distressed or barely nursing, then we move to medication and a doctor.
Yesterday he was with me for a full day at home along with Ms, who was not at nursery. We sang, danced, made up rhymes, put on little performances for each other, and went to the sea. It was genuinely a good day for the three of us older ones. For B, who was already running a temperature, the fresh air and the wind probably did not help. His fever got worse overnight. I know that. I would make the same choice again for the sake of the other two, and I feel a small amount of guilt about it, as one does.
Today Ms went to nursery until lunchtime and then the grandparents collected her to go and pick apples and take them to the cattle. We had planned to bring in the potatoes tomorrow but I cannot take a feverish baby onto a cold field, so the neighbour will have to help instead. My original plan – B in the pram at the edge of the field, nursing breaks on a picnic blanket – will have to wait.
Ms, who is being wonderful
Ms told her nursery class today that B has a fever. Apparently everyone expressed concern about the five-month-old being sick. She reported this back to me with great seriousness. She is four years old and she has been genuinely wonderful through all of this – playing with Mr when I needed her to, joining in with the dancing and the singing and the sea walk, watching out for B in the small ways that she has always instinctively done.
Next week she has a dentist appointment that she is genuinely looking forward to, which continues to delight me. Mr has therapy sessions and medical appointments. Life continues at its usual pace. I am hoping B’s fever breaks tonight and that Mr stays well, because next week needs everyone more or less upright.
That is where we are. A potty training win that took two attempts and eleven intense days. A baby with his first fever. A four-year-old who keeps surprising me. Onwards.
You are not alone.
If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.
If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.
You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.
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