We live in the countryside.
Our village has around 100 people. The nearest town, with about 10,000 residents, is a one-hour drive away.
This is a huge luxury when you consider how many people around the world live in matchbox-sized apartments in concrete apartment blocks. No wonder birth rates are so low. Children are born where there is space and freedom to grow.
Living in the countryside has both joys and challenges. I’ll start with the joys.
The Joys of Raising Children in the Countryside
There is peace and quiet here. Fresh air. Very little traffic. It’s a safe place for children to grow up.
Our children are still small — four and two years old — but when they’re older, I’ll have no fear letting them run freely between bushes without supervision, without worrying that someone might pull a knife on them. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone knows whose children and animals belong to whom. That can sometimes cause friction, but overall it creates a strong sense of community and informal neighbourhood watch. Crime is practically non-existent.
The local school and kindergarten are very child-friendly. There is active cooperation with local institutions such as the museum, bakery, care home, and handicraft society. There are dance groups and choirs. Children grow up around animals and learn what animal care looks like in real life. Walking through the village, you’ll see cows, sheep, and other livestock. Even our cat lives a luxurious life — coming and going between indoors and outdoors whenever it pleases. The only real danger comes from wild animals.
Nature is always close. You can walk into the forest or down to the beach at any time. Life here is very environmentally friendly. We heat with firewood and wash laundry in basins. We have a composting toilet. Water and electricity are used sparingly. Money is spent less too — there simply aren’t many places to spend it.
Sometimes I think our children are learning how people used to live.
We also live with multiple generations under one roof, in my partner’s parents’ home. A close relationship with grandparents adds enormous value to children’s lives.
Here, you can grow almost everything yourself. You can place a planter box anywhere, grow whatever you want in the greenhouse or garden beds. We eat our own potatoes year-round. Depending on the season, we eat our own zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, herbs, pumpkins, strawberries, apples, plums, pears — and more. We also exchange produce with neighbours and relatives.
Raising a Child with Down Syndrome in the Countryside
When it comes to our son, who has Down syndrome, the approach is deeply personal.
Rural life is calm, and we are able to take a lot of time for him. The kindergarten has a speech therapist and a special education teacher. At school, there are small class sizes and a creative therapist as well. We have one family doctor who knows everyone by face and name. I’ve received all the referrals our son has needed without obstacles.
There is close communication with local municipality staff, including a social worker who always helps when questions arise. Cooperation between teachers and parents is strong and active.
In many ways, this environment supports our son well.
The Challenges of Rural Life
But living in the countryside has its downsides too.
As mentioned earlier, everyone knows everyone — and there are very few people. On one hand, people support and help each other. On the other, there is a lot of gossip and judgment.
During pregnancy, I received many comments questioning why I would bring a child with Down syndrome into the world. Now, that same child is everyone’s favourite.
Living with multiple generations under one roof also creates tension and conflict. When we need privacy, we travel to my childhood home, which is a three-hour drive away.
There aren’t many events or activities nearby. While this saves money, it also means missing out. Sometimes I’d love to go out for dinner — but we haven’t done that in years. It would require driving an hour to the city and another hour back.
We are heavily dependent on cars. Public transportation is almost non-existent. A few buses per day go to the local centre (population 150), where there is a shop, kindergarten, library, family doctor centre, and school. The bus stop is a 20-minute walk from our home.
The roads here are gravel, and much of the year is muddy. For groceries, the pharmacy, kindergarten, or anything else essential, we must drive 15 minutes. In a city, those errands would already be done within that time.
Everything requires planning.
We have two cars for six people, and it still happens that one is in repair — like this morning, when one broke down again. Cars and fuel consume a large part of our budget. There is always coordination around who gets the car and when.
Accessing Services for a Child with Down Syndrome
For our son, the biggest challenge is distance to services.
Sometimes we only need a single doctor’s appointment — but even that requires organising time and transport. We would love to attend swimming and physiotherapy more often than twice a month, but these take place in the city, one hour away. A training day becomes an all-day commitment, and constant driving simply isn’t possible.
I do wish the swimming pool were closer.
School sessions that happen once a month are also in the city. In some ways, it’s nice that our son can sleep in the car, and driving gives me time alone with my thoughts. Still, there is simply too much driving.
Pregnancy screenings also require travel to the city. These services really should be available at the local family doctor centre.
Social Life and Childhood Friendships
One part of rural life that is rarely talked about is how easily your own social life can disappear. My partner grew up here. He has childhood friends, relatives, and long-standing connections. I moved here as an outsider — and in many ways, I still am one.
I don’t have close friends here. Not because I don’t value friendships, but because building them takes time, energy, and emotional space — all of which are scarce when you’re raising young children. Between daily life, therapies, long drives, and pregnancies, there simply isn’t room left.
The friends I once had live far away. Over time, communication faded — not from lack of love, but from lack of capacity. I don’t have the energy to constantly chat, call, or plan visits. Motherhood, especially in this season of life, is all-consuming.
Sometimes I miss adult conversation deeply. Sometimes I miss being seen as more than just “the mother.” I don’t need a busy social calendar — but I do miss connection. Rural life offers peace and space, but it can also be incredibly isolating, especially when you are the one who moved here and had to start from zero.
Our daughter finds it difficult to connect with children in her kindergarten group. A few friends live in neighbouring villages, but reaching anyone requires long car rides. I grew up in a town of 3,000 people, where I could walk to friends whenever I wanted. When our daughter grows older, she will need to be driven around a lot. Still, I’m glad she will grow up with people who know her from early childhood — friends who may stay with her for life.
Choosing This Life — and Choosing Gratitude
Five years ago, my partner and I decided that I would move here to live with him.
At times, I’ve questioned whether it was the right decision to live together with his parents. But we manage. There is food on the table. The stoves are warm.
My life revolves around caring for our children. If you think about it — that’s a luxury.
In the end, I feel deep gratitude that our children get to grow up in the countryside. There is great value in understanding a nature-connected way of life from an early age.
Most important of all is that we hold each other close as a family and love one another.
You are not alone in this.
If you would like to go deeper, you can buy the e-book Our Journey – A Different Path for honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post:
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