I never thought motherhood was for me.
At school, I was the “golden child.” I remembered everything effortlessly. I didn’t need to take notes. Good grades came easily simply by listening. University felt like the logical next step, and I completed my degrees all the way to a master’s level.
At the same time, I deeply valued my free time.
I studied, worked, made music, traveled, went out, partied, and enjoyed life. I had many friends and acquaintances, always someone to go somewhere with. My twenties passed exactly like that — full, social, independent.
In long-term relationships, the topic of children came up. I even said I could try someday. But my ex-partners didn’t want children. Then I met my current partner — and everything changed.
I became pregnant very quickly, and from that moment on, my life took a complete turn. Including my priorities.
When Achievement No Longer Felt Meaningful
During pregnancy, I finished my master’s degree. It was severe burnout. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I wanted to focus on my family, but a strong sense of duty pushed me to finish.
I graduated while hospitalized, connected to IV drips.
Looking back, I know I should have quit. Health is the most important thing. I had always been healthy, so I didn’t know how to worry — until my body forced me to learn.
Now I take care of myself properly. Nutritious food and movement matter more than anything, even after sleepless nights with babies. I protect my sleep deliberately. When I have a newborn, I stay in bed for around ten hours a night, even if actual sleep comes in fragments of six to seven hours.
This approach has worked. I’ve had enough energy during the day, even after breastfeeding two children every 1–3 hours each night for three years.
Soon our third baby will arrive, and the cycle will begin again.
A Complete Shift in Priorities
Today, my priorities are simple:
- breastfeeding
- caring for my children
- nurturing my relationship with my partner
- and, if there’s time, keeping the home in order
Career, friends, and social life are currently close to zero — and I’m completely at peace with that.
People often ask when I’m going back to work. I don’t want to. I don’t have the time or the energy, and I don’t feel any loss.
Our mornings with the children take two hours. We eat together. I sometimes nap with the younger one. We go outside, walk, talk about everything around us — colors in nature, animals, sounds. We sing, dance, and play together.
I use my music pedagogy education daily with my children. I don’t need a workplace to apply it.
Travel no longer interests me either. I’ve seen different countries. Now I want to stay in my own homeland and contribute here.
Choosing Society Over Individualism
Another reason my social life has faded is that many people think primarily about themselves. I think socially.
I see raising children as a civic responsibility — contributing to the future of our people and our society. Messaging, calling, and meeting friends require time and energy that I need elsewhere.
My partner’s priorities have also changed, though differently than mine. He values work and income more now, because he’s supporting a family, not just himself.
Why Motherhood Is More Meaningful Than Any Career
What motherhood gave me is infinitely more meaningful than a career.
At work, I am replaceable within days or weeks. For my children, I am not replaceable — ever.
No matter how successful a career might be, after my death someone else will take over that role. But my children will remain. They will continue contributing to society long after I’m gone.
Especially in the context of the birth rate crisis, I believe we need more women who are willing to have children — and men who want families. For that to happen, motherhood must be respected, supported, and valued again.
Another thing motherhood gives me: freedom from rigid schedules. No one forces me to be somewhere at a specific hour. Life with children at home is, in many ways, simpler.
Yes, overstimulation happens. But with a supportive partner and involved grandparents, it’s possible to find moments for walking, reading, and being alone.
My responsibilities toward my children and family matter far more to me than any obligation I could have toward a boss.
Motherhood gave me purpose that no career ever could.
If you want to read more, here is an article.
You are not alone in this.
If you would like to go deeper, you can buy the e-book Our Journey – A Different Path for honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post: https://payhip.com/b/c9s3b
You can also purchase supportive routine templates designed to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding: https://payhip.com/b/RYA65
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