B is three months old today. The plan was to bake a cake first thing this morning. The plan, as usual, did not survive contact with three children.
A birthday morning that went its own way
My three months old baby update starts like most of our mornings – with the best of intentions and a different reality. I wanted to bake straight away. Instead, B nursed four times in the first hour. He had slept so well overnight that his body was making up for lost time and demanding everything at once. Then Mr needed the potty and washing. Then Ms needed her hair done. Then both of them needed breakfast. By the time my partner took over with the older two and B finally settled, I made it to the kitchen.
The cake was worth the wait. Strawberry and rhubarb, with fruit that a neighbour gave us a while back – it had been sitting in the freezer waiting for exactly the right occasion. It turned out well. I was pleased with it in the way you are pleased with things that required actual effort to happen.
I had barely planned to wash myself before the grandparents arrived. They came from the neighbouring village – we call them papa and mamma, the way the children do – with an envelope of money, potato salad, two more cakes, and blueberries. The kind of arrival that makes the whole house feel lighter. They helped Mr get dressed, took the older two outside, and B slept through all of it. He had been awake all morning. Even at three months old, he seemed to sense that the day was different – that alert, clear-eyed look he gets when something is happening around him.
When the grandparents left, Ms went with them. Let her go. Mr was already tired and went down for his nap. The house was suddenly quiet.
Three months old and thriving
Tomorrow morning B has his three-month check – weight, length, and his vaccination. I am curious to see the numbers, because he has visibly grown and filled out in ways that feel significant. He is an easy, calm baby who has slept well from early on and nurses steadily through the day. Ms and Mr have taken to him in the most endearing way – they lean in to cuddle him with a gentleness that surprises me every time, because neither of them is especially gentle about anything else.
After the appointment, we are heading to my childhood home for just over two weeks. My partner will drive us there, mow the grass, bring supplies from the shop, carry water in buckets, and then return to work. My childhood friend will be there with her daughter – the same age as Ms, friends since birth, exactly the way their mothers are. Her husband and her mother will also help. I will be there with three children, basic facilities, and a lake we can swim in every single day. I have done this every summer. I have been looking forward to it for months.
Getting everything into the car is going to be an event. Pram, balance bike, bicycle, bouncer, clothes for five different body sizes across two weeks. We may need a second vehicle. Possibly a small lorry.
A summer of festivals and what we learned
We have been to three outdoor events together this summer as a family of five. The first one I will not dwell on – it was complete chaos and is now what we refer to simply as a lesson. The key lesson being: always bring Mr’s balance bike. Without it, one adult spends the entire day running after a two-year-old who can now walk fast in any direction he chooses. With it, he has somewhere to sit and something to hold his interest for at least a few minutes at a time.
The most recent event was genuinely wonderful. There were clowns performing and both older children laughed until they were breathless. We ate outside in the fresh air. Ms was brave enough to ride a pony, which she had never done before. We made bracelets. We sang in a music workshop and played instruments. I nursed B every little while – on benches, in corners, among other people – because that is simply what we do and it is completely normal. Between sessions we went to celebrate the grandparents’ wedding anniversary, and by the time we got home that evening we were the kind of tired that is almost impossible to describe.
The beach, the lake, and the problem with sand
We have been to the beach twice this summer. Ms loved every second of it – water, sand, total happiness. The boys were less convinced by the sea itself. Mr’s relationship with the beach is complicated by his current habit of putting everything into his mouth. Sand, unknown plants, wood from tree stumps, gravel from the ground – if it fits, he tries it. At the beach this problem is simply continuous. I asked a friend at one of the festivals whose son also has Down syndrome whether he went through the same phase. He did not. I am hoping it passes on its own, and soon.
The best moment of the beach days came when my partner arrived to take over. I handed everyone to him and swam out alone, as far as I wanted, for as long as I wanted. The cold water, the silence, the distance from the shore. I cannot overstate how good that felt.
The lake at my childhood home will offer the same, and more. My friend’s daughter learned to swim there this summer, thanks to daily practice in calm fresh water. I hope Ms will be ready to learn next summer. Swimming is one of those things I want all three of my children to be able to do – not as an activity, but as a basic life skill.
A birthday party and two lifelong friendships
My friend’s daughter turned five this summer and we went to her birthday party. Mr got to play in a ball pit, swing, and wander happily. Ms and the birthday girl were inseparable in the way they always are – these two have been friends since they were born, just like their mothers. We see each other mainly in summer, which makes it a friendship that lives in warm weather and long evenings and the particular ease of people who have known each other forever.
Summer with three children is so full and so fast that finding time to sit down and write feels almost impossible. But I try to find it, because these months are worth remembering. B is three months old, the older two are growing in ways I cannot keep up with, and somewhere in all the chaos there is a summer that I think we will all look back on warmly.
You are not alone.
If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.
If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.
You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.
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