Four days in and Mr has already made a friend, eaten independently and used the potty at nursery. The afternoon nap, however, is going to take some working out.
The wins first
Yesterday was Mr’s first day on the official list – eating lunch with the group rather than sandwiches from home. My partner did the drop-off and pick-up. The feedback was that he ate well, largely by himself. At home independent eating still requires a lot of encouragement and assistance. At nursery, apparently, the group dynamic does something that I cannot. Peer influence is a powerful thing and I am very glad it is working in our favour.
He also finally used the potty there. I had been worried about this – for the first few days he sat patiently every time they guided him, for a long time, and nothing happened. The moment he relaxed enough, it came. Yesterday it came. I have been talking to him at home every day, using the teachers’ names, telling him his friends are waiting for him. Whether that helped or whether he simply needed a few more days to settle, something shifted and I am relieved.
He already has a friend
A message came from one of the other mothers. When she brought her daughter in that morning, Mr went straight over, showed her his toy lamb and invited her to play. That same little girl, on a previous day when I came to collect him, waved and called out goodbye using his name.
I read that message several times. My boy with Down syndrome, four days into nursery, already making friends with a lamb under his arm. I am not going to pretend that did not make my heart melt. He has always been sociable – warm, cheerful, drawn to people – and it is wonderful to see that quality finding its place in a room full of his own peers for the first time.
The nap problem
Now for the part we have not yet solved. Because he is now staying for lunch, he comes home later. And that means the window between arriving home and the right time for a nap has shrunk to almost nothing – or he falls asleep in the car on the way, which is what happened yesterday.
A car nap is not a real nap. Forty-five minutes in the seat and then nothing – he would not go down again at home, he was overtired and frustrated, he had an accident, he cried. B picked up on the atmosphere and cried more than usual too. The whole afternoon was harder than it needed to be because of those forty-five car minutes.
I asked my partner to do everything possible to keep Mr awake in the car. The problem is that there is not much a driver can do when a genuinely exhausted toddler closes his eyes. And the timing is complicated further by Ms – she eats lunch later than Mr finishes, so they have to wait twenty minutes before picking her up, which means the journey home is longer than it would otherwise be. My partner is working out a route between two nursery groups, a nap schedule and a work day, and it is not simple.
The real solution would be for Mr to nap at nursery. He has slept his whole life in someone’s arms – mine, mostly. The idea of him settling alone on a little cot in a room full of other children is hard to picture right now. But it is only day four. I do not want to rush him into longer days before he has fully found his footing. I also know that if he could sleep there, the afternoons at home would be completely different. I will call the teachers next week and talk it through. They have been open to everything so far. Maybe we try it sooner than I think.
What mornings look like now
The current routine is that my partner and Ms take Mr to his group first, then Ms goes to hers – her group is often already outside in the mornings, which makes the handover quick and easy. I stay home with B. This arrangement, which we have managed for two days now, is genuinely new territory for me. I am used to nursing while simultaneously running after two bigger children. Now there is one child, who mostly nurses and sleeps, and a quiet house.
When B sleeps I can tidy, sort things, rest. Actually rest. It is strange and good. I keep waiting for someone to need something urgently and then remembering that right now, no one does. I enjoy it but I’m also looking forward to being all together on weekend.
The weekend and what is coming
Tomorrow we are going to visit the neighbours’ boys – one is Ms’s former nursery classmate, now in a younger group, and the other is in Mr’s group but has been ill and they have not yet properly played together. Two-year-olds do not really play together so much as alongside each other, but alongside is a start and it will be good for him to see a familiar face outside of nursery.
Next week there are therapy sessions in the city, which means a day off nursery – and means I can take B shopping while Mr is in his session. There are no shops here, but the city has what we need: clothes, shoes, the ordinary things that require being somewhere with options. A small outing. I am looking forward to it more than the errand itself warrants.
Nursery day four with Down syndrome has given us friends, independent eating, a successful potty visit, and one unsolved afternoon. That is a very good score for day four.
You are not alone.
If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.
If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.
You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.
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