We constantly hear about how important it is to take time for yourself as a parent, both alone and together with your partner. In reality, though, it’s not always that simple. Even though we live together with our children’s grandparents, we still almost never get moments alone. Maybe we don’t prioritize it enough, but the last time my partner and I went somewhere just the two of us—like a concert—was years ago. At least one child is always with us.
Going out alone basically means a quick visit to the store. Once, I even managed a bike ride by myself, and it felt amazing. But somehow, I always slip back into the rhythm of our everyday routine.
What Everyday Life Actually Looks Like
Our days follow a very predictable pattern. In the morning, my partner takes our daughter to kindergarten and goes to work. I stay home with our son.
Our routine is simple:
- morning playtime
- breakfast
- more play
- lunch
- nap time
Soon after, my daughter and partner return home. Evenings are spent together as a family. Often, one child is downstairs with the grandparents while I’m upstairs with the other, and my partner is still outside taking care of the animals. Then we all go to bed together.
On days when our daughter is home, we try to go outside after breakfast, but the rhythm is mostly the same. And now, as Christmas approaches, our calendar is overflowing again—kindergarten Christmas events, winter wonderland visits, school fairs, sports classes, doctor visits, and more.
No wonder parents feel overstimulated.
Why Finding Time for Yourself Feels So Hard
I know I should make more time for myself before the third baby arrives. But the truth is:
I’m used to this rhythm.
I function inside it.
And I don’t want to burden the grandparents. They are older and already do so much—heating the house, cooking, helping where they can. It doesn’t feel fair to simply announce that they’re babysitting now.
Friendships have faded over the years too. Not because I’m sad or missing them, but because meeting up with people simply hasn’t been a priority. Especially now, in pregnancy, I don’t want to talk about tests or check-ups, because I haven’t attended any this time.
Still, I’m curious:
How do other parents find time for themselves?
And how do you make space for rest without feeling guilty?
What I’m Hoping For
Most of all, I’m looking forward to Christmas time—those quiet days when we don’t have to go anywhere, don’t have events, don’t have a schedule. Just peaceful time together at home.
Maybe that’s the closest thing to “me time” that I need right now.
For those interested in how having children can influence a couple’s connection, this meta-analysis reviews research on how relationship satisfaction typically changes during the transition to parenthood. It offers a broad scientific overview without assuming that every couple’s experience is the same:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20001143/
You are not alone in this.
If you would like to go deeper, you can buy the e-book Our Journey – A Different Path for honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post: https://payhip.com/b/c9s3b
You can also purchase supportive routine templates designed to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding: https://payhip.com/b/RYA65
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