Socializing as a Parent: Do Children Really Need It – and What About Us?

From Extrovert to Overwhelmed Parent

I have always been an extrovert. Talking to people came naturally to me, even strangers. Before having children, I spent time going out, traveling, and attending events. I had many acquaintances and a few close friends.

Now, life looks completely different.

With a strong-willed and active 4-year-old daughter, a 2-year-old son with Down syndrome, and being eight months pregnant, I’ve reached a point where I’ve almost completely stepped back from socializing. Not because I don’t value people but because I simply don’t have the time or energy.

From morning to evening, my days are filled with childcare, household tasks, illnesses, therapies, and doctor visits. Add in travel to bigger cities for my son’s needs, and it easily becomes 10+ hours of work a day. By the time everything is done, I need a little time for myself and my partner too.

Social life has quietly moved to the background.

Do Young Children Really Need Socialization?

I’ve always believed that babies and very young children don’t actually need socialization with peers. What they need most is a safe home, loving parents, and stability. For children socialization need comes later. That’s what I learned during music pedagogy studies aswell.

When my daughter approached age three, we decided to send her to kindergarten. She enjoys it, makes friends, and is excited to go. Still, I’ve often questioned whether a large group setting – full of noise and constant stimulation – is truly the best environment.

So we found a compromise.

She attends part-time, about 10 days a month, sometimes just until midday. This gives her both social interaction and plenty of time to rest and be at home.

A Different Path for My Son

My son is very social, joyful, and curious. He seeks contact with people and observes everything around him.

I always assumed I would keep him at home longer but specialists say otherwise.

They believe he would benefit from being part of a group – especially starting around age three. Because of his Down syndrome, he would need additional support: speech therapy, special education, possibly a support person, and ideally a smaller or specialized group.

Living in the countryside makes this more complicated. Resources are limited. There is only one kindergarten nearby, with large groups.

Still, one point really stayed with me: younger children adapt more easily. If he joins a group earlier, he has a better chance of forming friendships before developmental gaps become too noticeable.

This made me rethink everything.

Changing My Own Mind

I used to believe socialization wasn’t that important for young children. But now I see that, from around age three, it does start to matter – at least to some extent.

So I’ve made an effort.

I’ve reached out to other parents, arranged playdates, and accepted invitations. Today, for example, we’re going to my daughter’s classmate’s birthday party.

For the most part, I’ve been grateful that my son is included too. Despite his diagnosis, he seems welcomed, and that means a lot.

When Socializing Isn’t Easy

But not everything has been positive.

There is one child my daughter really loves to play with. Unfortunately, her mother seems to avoid us. No matter how many times I suggest meeting, nothing works. No responses, no alternatives.

I don’t understand it.

Even if she doesn’t like me, why should that affect the children?

It hurts – especially when my daughter keeps asking when she can visit her friend, and I don’t know what to say.

Trust, Hurt, and Moving Forward

The truth is, my trust in people has been deeply shaken.

During my pregnancy with my son, I heard things no one should ever hear – comments suggesting he shouldn’t be born. Those words have stayed with me, and they’ve made it very hard to open up to others again.

I’ve tried anyway.

I’ve invited people to our new home, prepared food, and welcomed guests warmly. I’ve done what I can to maintain connections – for my children’s sake.

But relationships require effort from both sides.

Socializing for the Children

If it were only up to me, I might choose isolation. It would be simpler.

But it’s not just about me anymore.

My children deserve friendships, experiences, and a sense of belonging. So I keep trying, even when it’s uncomfortable or disappointing.

And sometimes, it works.

Holding On to the Good Moments

Today, we will go to a birthday party. We will enjoy the company, the laughter, and the moment.

Because despite everything, those small positive experiences matter.

And maybe, little by little, we will find our place again.

You are not alone.

If this story resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, you can explore my e-book Our Journey – A Different Path. It offers honest reflections and lived experience beyond this post.

If you’re looking for practical support, I’ve created Routine Templates to help parents and children navigate daily life with more clarity, structure, and understanding.

You can also read my previous posts or follow along on Instagram @parentguidancehub, where I share everyday reflections on parenting, family life, and finding balance.